Polar Express
Posted January 2, 2005
Raking in the cash in the box office, The Polar Express has been a phenomenal hit among Christmas movies. In a genre populated by several poor attempts to milk the holiday cash cow, Polar Express the film is head and shoulders above several of its brethren. Maybe it has to do with the mind boggling CGI or maybe it has to do with the fact that it features the very talented Tom Hanks.
A retelling of a classic Christmas book, Polar Express is about a young boy that has his faith in Santa rewarded one Christmas Eve. Lying in bed he listens intently for the sound of reindeer on the rooftop but instead he hears the roaring of a locomotive right outside of his house. Hoping on board him and several other children in their pajamas soon find themselves on a trip to the North Pole to meet the jolly fat man himself.
In a vain attempt to cash in on a popular children’s movie, THQ has released the Polar Express game. Unfortunately none of the holiday charm or magic is captured here and if anything this game will make you feels more like a Grinch than put you in the holiday spirit.
Gameplay:
You take on the role of the boy that has found himself on his way to the North Pole and boy does this trip suck. As if a long train ride isn’t bad enough he has to go through mundane mini-games that provide absolutely no entertainment and are as fun as a box of thumbtacks.
The whole premise for much of the game is that an evil Scrooge toy has stolen all of the children’s tickets and only you can get them back. You’ll be throwing things at jack in the boxes, hiding from the cook and double jumping your way over crates from room to room aboard this train ride of doom. The question begs to be answered though how a kid in his pajamas can double jump to get on top of a crate twice his height.
In one stage you’ll find yourself chasing the conductor across the top of the speeding train to give him a girl’s ticket. The funny thing is you don’t just run, you have to jump over cars, duck oncoming obstacles and hang off of the side of the train to avoid being bludgeoned. Despite the fact that the kid can run into a metal bar at 100 mph and still get up is bad enough but it’s the fact that the stage goes on forever it seems and proves challenging for adult gamers so I don’t know how a kid is going to enjoy it.
After that stage is another mini-game involves skiing with the hobo down a mountain slope to catch up with the train. It’s fairly competent with controlling the bum while he’s sliding and jumping, just don’t expect anything more than that. Sorry, he doesn’t grind over rails or do back flips.
Another game you’ll have to suffer through is a rhythm-based game in which you press a direction or button at the appropriate time. It’s kind of like Simon Says only not as fun and more tedious. Eventually you will defeat the possessed Scrooge toy in a snowball fight and arrive at the North Pole. Once there the game takes another shift assaulting you with one boring game after another.
Going downhill in an out of control train car, sliding through a tube, traveling along a conveyer belt of toys and a 2D platform jumping nightmare await you if you make it this far. To top it all off the controls are relatively unresponsive at times and the gameplay is clunky and frustrating. All in all the game will take you roughly three hours to beat if you make it that long. That’s three hours you could have spent watching the movie and you’d still have some time to kill.
Graphics:
If the Polar Express movie were to have an ugly stepsister this is it. A collection of poorly animated brats on the train with only a couple enemy types that move just as rigidly make this one hurtful on the eyes. The environments in the train are enclosed with no detail or freedom of movement and the textures that cover everything else are blander than plain yogurt.
The story is told through both in game cut scenes and clips ripped right from the movie. The movie clips look great but unfortunately are merely a tease because they only last for a few moments then you are stuck with the cruddy in game graphic scenes. The two transition well together and propel the story but when the textures and animations are such poor quality as is the case here, what’s the point.
Audio:
As with the graphics, the audio in Polar Express is pretty poor. While all of the cut scenes from the movie feature Tom Hanks and the rest of the cast it is blatantly obvious that the game does not. It is rather amusing going from hearing the conductor’s voice from a movie clip to an in game scene with a ghastly attempt at an impression a second later. I understand that getting someone like Hanks to do voice work would be near impossible but at least try to find a way around it that would be at least passable. The music for the most part is acceptable though it does get on the nerves after a little while.
Conclusion:
While the book and movie based on the book have heart and meaning the game does not. It is a shameless attempt to milk a cash cow that fails utterly. While a few of the games you will play in Polar Express provide minimal enjoyment the entire experience is just plain boring. The graphics are poor for the Playstation 2 and compared to Playstation 1 titles they would be mediocre at best. The sound features imitations of Tom Hanks’ characters that amusingly enough sound absolutely nothing like him. Not to mention the game is also only three hours long.
Despite the fact that this is a Christmas themed game that should spread holiday cheer and warm tidings, this is the gift you give naughty children right along side a stocking full of coal. In no way do I recommend this game to anyone of any age and this is one train ride that deserves to be missed.
A retelling of a classic Christmas book, Polar Express is about a young boy that has his faith in Santa rewarded one Christmas Eve. Lying in bed he listens intently for the sound of reindeer on the rooftop but instead he hears the roaring of a locomotive right outside of his house. Hoping on board him and several other children in their pajamas soon find themselves on a trip to the North Pole to meet the jolly fat man himself.
In a vain attempt to cash in on a popular children’s movie, THQ has released the Polar Express game. Unfortunately none of the holiday charm or magic is captured here and if anything this game will make you feels more like a Grinch than put you in the holiday spirit.
Gameplay:
You take on the role of the boy that has found himself on his way to the North Pole and boy does this trip suck. As if a long train ride isn’t bad enough he has to go through mundane mini-games that provide absolutely no entertainment and are as fun as a box of thumbtacks.
The whole premise for much of the game is that an evil Scrooge toy has stolen all of the children’s tickets and only you can get them back. You’ll be throwing things at jack in the boxes, hiding from the cook and double jumping your way over crates from room to room aboard this train ride of doom. The question begs to be answered though how a kid in his pajamas can double jump to get on top of a crate twice his height.
In one stage you’ll find yourself chasing the conductor across the top of the speeding train to give him a girl’s ticket. The funny thing is you don’t just run, you have to jump over cars, duck oncoming obstacles and hang off of the side of the train to avoid being bludgeoned. Despite the fact that the kid can run into a metal bar at 100 mph and still get up is bad enough but it’s the fact that the stage goes on forever it seems and proves challenging for adult gamers so I don’t know how a kid is going to enjoy it.
After that stage is another mini-game involves skiing with the hobo down a mountain slope to catch up with the train. It’s fairly competent with controlling the bum while he’s sliding and jumping, just don’t expect anything more than that. Sorry, he doesn’t grind over rails or do back flips.
Another game you’ll have to suffer through is a rhythm-based game in which you press a direction or button at the appropriate time. It’s kind of like Simon Says only not as fun and more tedious. Eventually you will defeat the possessed Scrooge toy in a snowball fight and arrive at the North Pole. Once there the game takes another shift assaulting you with one boring game after another.
Going downhill in an out of control train car, sliding through a tube, traveling along a conveyer belt of toys and a 2D platform jumping nightmare await you if you make it this far. To top it all off the controls are relatively unresponsive at times and the gameplay is clunky and frustrating. All in all the game will take you roughly three hours to beat if you make it that long. That’s three hours you could have spent watching the movie and you’d still have some time to kill.
Graphics:
If the Polar Express movie were to have an ugly stepsister this is it. A collection of poorly animated brats on the train with only a couple enemy types that move just as rigidly make this one hurtful on the eyes. The environments in the train are enclosed with no detail or freedom of movement and the textures that cover everything else are blander than plain yogurt.
The story is told through both in game cut scenes and clips ripped right from the movie. The movie clips look great but unfortunately are merely a tease because they only last for a few moments then you are stuck with the cruddy in game graphic scenes. The two transition well together and propel the story but when the textures and animations are such poor quality as is the case here, what’s the point.
Audio:
As with the graphics, the audio in Polar Express is pretty poor. While all of the cut scenes from the movie feature Tom Hanks and the rest of the cast it is blatantly obvious that the game does not. It is rather amusing going from hearing the conductor’s voice from a movie clip to an in game scene with a ghastly attempt at an impression a second later. I understand that getting someone like Hanks to do voice work would be near impossible but at least try to find a way around it that would be at least passable. The music for the most part is acceptable though it does get on the nerves after a little while.
Conclusion:
While the book and movie based on the book have heart and meaning the game does not. It is a shameless attempt to milk a cash cow that fails utterly. While a few of the games you will play in Polar Express provide minimal enjoyment the entire experience is just plain boring. The graphics are poor for the Playstation 2 and compared to Playstation 1 titles they would be mediocre at best. The sound features imitations of Tom Hanks’ characters that amusingly enough sound absolutely nothing like him. Not to mention the game is also only three hours long.
Despite the fact that this is a Christmas themed game that should spread holiday cheer and warm tidings, this is the gift you give naughty children right along side a stocking full of coal. In no way do I recommend this game to anyone of any age and this is one train ride that deserves to be missed.